Random Notes

Playing at Questions

Posted by mfluch on February 23, 2008

Excerpt from Tom Stoppard´s play Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead:

Rosencrantz (Ros): We could play at questions.
Guildensern (Guil): What good would that do?
Ros: Practice!
Guil: Statement! One – love.
Ros: Cheating!
Guil: How?
Ros: I hadn’t started yet.
Guil: Statement. Two – love.
Ros: Are you counting that?
Guil: What?
Ros: Are you counting that?
Guil: Foul! No repetitions. Three – love. First game to…
Ros: I’m not going to play if you’re going to be like that.
Guil: Whose serve?
Ros: Hah?
Guil: Foul! No grunts. Love – one.
Ros: Whose go?
Guil: Why?
Ros: Why not?
Guil: What for?
Ros: Foul! No synonyms! One – all.
Guil: What in God’s name is going on?
Ros: Foul! No rhetoric. Two – one.
Guil: What does it all add up to?
Ros: Can’t you guess?
Guil: Were you addressing me?
Ros: Is there anyone else?
Guil: Who?
Ros: How would I know?
Guil: Why do you ask?
Ros: Are you serious?
Guil: Was that rhetoric?
Ros: No.
Guil: Statement! Two – all. Game point.
Ros: What’s the matter with you today?
Guil: When?
Ros: What?
Guil: Are you deaf?
Ros: Am I dead?
Guil: Yes or no?
Ros: Is there a choice?
Guil: Is there a God?
Ros: Foul! No non sequiturs, three – two, one game all.
Guil (seriously): What’s your name?
Ros: What’s yours?
Guil: I asked you first.
Ros: Statement. One – love.
Guil: What’s your name when you’re at home?
Ros: What’s yours?
Guil: When I’m at home?
Ros: Is it different at home?
Guil: What home?
Ros: Haven’t you got one?
Guil: Why do you ask?
Ros: What are you driving at?
Guil (with emphasis): What’s your name?!
Ros: Repetition. Two – love. Match point to me.
Guil (seizing him violently): WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?
Ros: Rhetoric! Game and match!

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